July 9
Warning: I am about to make a statement that will probably offend some people, induce condescending glares, and perhaps make Kafka roll over in his grave: If Kafka were alive today, he would probably be called a hipster.
Today's history lesson was all about Kafka, and breaking the stereotypical image of the quiet, ugly, sickly loner. In reality, apparently he was a(n attractive) ladies man. He was engaged 4 times to 3 different women (can you say commitment issues), had an affair with Milena Jesenská (oh Franz, you home-wrecker, you), and fathered an illegitimate child with a friend of one of his fiances (dang-it Kafka, keep it in your pants please). He also participated in a number of sports before becoming sick, was a vegetarian, drank a lot of beer, and liked to ride his uncle's motorbike around town. So was he a sickly, ugly loner? Apparently not. Did he have some issues that needed to be worked out? All signs point to yes.
If Kafka was alive today, I can see him in a little known coffee-house/pub that serves obscure "organic" beverages with vegan tofu gooseberry muffins, listening to bands that only 20 other people will ever hear of, and working that "struggling artist" charm that makes women fall at his feet.
And of course, the last 5 minutes of class, as we are processing all the new information that we learned, I overhear some pretensious Russian tour-guide explain that the Kafka statue represents how he "overcame all of his many struggles, including his anti-social ways". And all I wanted to do was turn around and stare at her with a look that my father likes to call "как Ленин на буржуазию".
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