Up in the Air

This trip has left me realizing way more about myself than I could have ever imagined. The atmosphere among my fellow classmates was the same as it was at NU: one of me being both part of the group and an outsider at the same time. I had always had that feeling, all through my life I was "different", but for some reason, I have never felt so different and so out of place as I have at Northwestern and on this trip. (That said, just to clarify, I am by no means implying that I am unhappy, helpless, and miserable. I am still part of a group, still a part of society, not a complete and absolute loner).


And so I decided to take a moment, reflect, and figure out why this was. I realized it once again had to do with me being Russian, or at least with how I approach this integral part of me. Many others wear their nationalities as a bracelet, a sock, a glove. Something that defines them in words, not in spirit. How many times have I heard someone say "I'm Irish, German, Hungarian, and Italian. But my great-grandparents and every generation since were born and lived in the US". Their multi-ethnic culture extends only as far as perhaps a traditional meatball recipe at Christmas or a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" T-shirt at St.Patrick's Day. When asked their nationality, they say "American". Their childhood consisted of jello at picnics, baseball games, and Superbowl parties.

My childhood on the other hand consisted of going to Russian school on Saturdays instead of staying in my pajamas watching cartoons,  picking out the chicken hearts in my mother’s homemade soup, celebrating holidays that, among other things, involved eating pancakes for a whole week, and lots and lots of  borscht. When someone asks my nationality, I say "Russian" because for me, saying "American" feels like a betrayal. I realized that I consciously try to come off as and be as Russian as I can. The fact that my Russian reading skills aren't as strong as my brother's and that I can feel my speaking "skills" are slowly getting worse terrifies me and perhaps even makes me ashamed and embarrassed. Therefore, I realized, I try and overcompensate and make myself appear and "be" as "Russian" as I can. And this is what causes my "outsider" status. My attempt to hold on to this idea of who and what I need to be separates me from people that I still try to fit in with, to coexist, to live with.

So I guess the main question that this leads me to is whether to live with this realization or to do something about this and somehow change. The decision is, like most things in life, still up in the air. 

Holier-than-Thou

I have been known to be a little "holier-than-thou" with my Russian-ness. Seeing as I live in the US, that is the side of me that most often gets "attacked", mocked, picked on, bashed, made fun of, etc. Therefore, I have developed a defense mechanism for times like these. However, I rarely, if ever, assume the "holier-than-thou" mentality when speaking about the US. I personally hate the stereotype that Americans have a mentality of being better than everyone else, yet believe that this stereotype also rings true. I am a firm believer that all stereotypes have a morsel of truth in them. Therefore, I try my best to disprove this stereotype in my actions (whether or not I succeed is another question). However, being abroad has made me feel like I play into that stereotype due to the use of English as the second language spoken in the various countries. It makes me feel like I am practically saying to others "I'm not making an effort to learn and speak your language, and you must cater to me and speak my language". And I hate that feeling. I think that was one of my biggest difficulties abroad: the language differences and my resistance to speak English due to the feelings of guilt and impression that I was being pompous and rude when I did. That said, for some reason, I had less of an issue with this in Vienna and Budapest. Perhaps it was the fact that I was studying Czech or that I lived in Prague that made me feel so much worse about speaking English. Maybe all I needed was a whirl-wind of a Eurotrip to alleviate a bit of the language barrier. Unfortunately, it failed to alleviate my guilt.

You are allowed one wrapped sapling tree

Vienna. 3 hours later: Budapest.

Highlights include:

-New Restaurant Idea: In a Potato

-Hummus Bar for lunch - yum!

-going to the baths- a little anti-climactic. Felt more like a tepid public pool

-cool tour of city

-Langos for lunch - the most delicious thing ever. Pretty much a piece of fried dough, topped with garlic, sour cream, and cheese. To die for!

Pictures include:

The baths

Crisp apple strudels and schnitzel with noodles

July  20

3am. Nearly empty bus station. 5 hour bus ride ahead of us. Vienna, here we come. 


Highlights of Vienna include:

• eating food truck schnitzel (not-so highlight was only having 1 minute to eat what I could and then having to throw out the rest)
• seeing the Schönbrunn Palace
• dinner of food truck food, which included a pastry that I blindly chose even though I had no idea what it was as well as a giant sausage with mustard shoved into a baguette. All of it was delicious!
• coffee with cheese strudel at a local quaint cafe
• staying at a hostel with a bar and a non-lumpy mattress
• ripping my jeans (I feel that everyone must reach certain embarrassing milestones. Splitting your pants in public is one of those milestones. Check)
• breakfast of farmer's market cherry strudel : yum!

Pictures of Vienna include:

Casually chilling in the Schönbrunn garden

Schönbrunn Palace

Being a local means getting tuna on one's pizza

July 16

All those Czech classes must be paying off (or most likely just my Slavic appearance), because people are starting to think that I am a local. They talk to me (or more like at me) in Czech, even after I have a brief conversation with them in English. And only after a minute of me staring at them like a lost, confused tourist, they resort to speaking English. Of course, I am flattered. I guess my "Dobrý den", "Prosím", and "Děkuju" sound proper. On the other hand, if being a local means ending up with tuna on my pizza, I graciously decline. (Seriously, who in heaven's name thought tuna was a good idea on a pizza?) That said, it is a good feeling to feel more assimilated. Constantly feeling like an outsider has started taking a toll on me, so small moments like that where people mistake me for a local are refreshing and much appreciated.

Would you like some muži with your ženy?

So since a lot of my blog posts have been text based, with limited number of pictures of Czech buildings and nature, I thought that I would do a post of pictures of people and some buildings. So enjoy!

Casually chilling on the Charles Bridge

Lennon Wall

Paddle Boating

Paddle Boating

 

Cave Rave

Cave Rave

Part of the Berlin Wall

I hang out on top of churches in my spare time

St. Vitus' Cathedral

Hey there zlatíčko, guess what I'm #3 in...

As I was trying to look up how to say "men" in Czech, I happened to stumble upon a website with a title of "10 Reasons to Give Czech Men a Chance". They say that curiosity killed the cat. in this case, my curiosity led me to one of the most ridiculous and funniest articles I have read in a long time. 10-reasons-to-give-czech-men-a-chance . And now, in typical Lena fashion, I will proceed to share with you the thoughts that came to mind while perusing this fine piece of literature.

Intro Photo: I should give them a chance because they drive dusty mini-buses?

Picture 2: Obviously it is the goat that makes these men desirable. Or the fact that that man looks like a goat. Either way, not convinced to give Czech men a chance just yet.

Reason 10-Czech men will always tell you how you look: As much as I love and appreciate honesty, and ladies, correct me if I'm wrong, I also appreciate a man who can tell a little-white lie in the "honey, how do I look" answer department instead of telling me the flat out truth. Now men, don't get me wrong, I want you to be informed if I look like a demented circus clown, but no need to tell me about this "muffin top" that the article so kindly mentions. So be a good boy and follow your mother's rule of "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" or at least sit by Clairee Belcher (classic Steel Magnolias reference)

Reason 9-Czech men don´t over analyze: Not over analyzing seems like a good thing. Unless they don't think at all...

Reason 8-Czech men are not afraid of P.D.A: We know. We're seen you sucking face in broad daylight in a park. Not always a fan.

Reason 7- Czech men don´t play games: This seems like a refreshing change. I can dig this. Then again, I think all women (me included) read too much into everything to begin with and perhaps all guys are actually that simple.

Picture 4: Not exactly what I would call extremely attractive men. Then again everyone has their own tastes. Still not convinced.

Reason 6-Czech men rank among the EU´s most well endowed: Only thing I can think is "who in heaven's name does this research and how did this study even get conducted"

Reason 5- Czech men don´t wear baseball caps: Nothing wrong with a baseball cap once in a while. Although this reason could be something I could get behind.

Reason 4- Czech men will shower you with pet names: Although I have no desire to be called "zlato","zlatka",or "zlatíčko", I am a fan of pet names. Point for the Czech men's team.

Picture 5: What is that man sitting in in the middle of the street?

Reason 3- Czech men are thrifty—and that´s a good thing: In other words, they are cheap.

Reason 2- Czech men won´t think less of you after casual sex: Hmm, a man who doesn't complain about casual sex. Such a novelty.

Reason 1: Czech men aren´t afraid of commitment: They also aren't afraid of divorce.

Over the river and up the hill, to Prague Castle we go

July 12

Today, since I did not have any classes and my father was in town, we decided to check out the Prague Castle. And I must say, I am extremely proud of being able to navigate our way up there. Granted, all we had to do was get on tram #22 and then get off at the appropriate stop, but still, for my first independent trip to an unknown place in a foreign country, I am proud. Therefore, with a guide book in hand, we set off to see the Castle.

Once on the hill, our first stop was St. Vitus' Cathedral. It was once again a very beautiful church, but all these Catholic churches are beginning to blend together and look exactly the same to me. We then visited the Old Royal Palace, where we saw the famous place of the defenestration. In spirit of the famous defenestrations, please enjoy this somewhat related video (shout out to Sarah Elkins!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Veg63B8ofnQ. Even though I highly doubt that the windows are still the originals, the room (and palace) from where they were thrown out of was definitely the original. From these towers we also got a very good overhead view of Prague, including the US Embassy,  Charles Bridge, the National Theater, and all the other famous landmarks. We then proceeded to the Golden Lane. Someone had recommended it and thus my father and I went to see it. Unfortunately, it was pretty disappointing. It was full of shops and a few reconstructions depicting typical life in on the Castle's grounds. And tourists. Which brings me to my next point. There were SO many tourists. Flocks of them. All with their own tour groups, rushing through the whole Castle's territory in order to make it to their next planned activity. Luckily, because my father and I took our time and leisurely wandered, enjoying the cool breeze (and not the sudden rain), all the tourists were pretty much gone by noon, allowing us to calmly proceed to view the grounds.  

Inside of St. Vitus' Cathedral

St. Vitus' Cathedral

The window of defenestration seems a bit underwhelming

Charles Bridge

After viewing the grounds, we wandered into the Royal Garden which once again offered a spectacular place to sit, relax, and take in the sights of Prague. We then walked toward the Charles Bridge, past a number of newlyweds posing in unnatural poses by the river, while their photographers kept screaming for the groom to look at his wife and for the couple to at least pretend to be happy. We then crossed the Charles Bridge and made our way onto Wenceslas Square and then back home to Jerome House.

All in all, it was a nice day to just relax, wander, and take in the city.

A Song about Zmrzlina

July 11

Today was our last history full day/weekend trip, and our destination this time was Terezín. Terezín was a former military fortress which got converter into a Jewish concentration camp and political prisoner labor camp during WWII. Therefore, we all knew that this trip would not be lighthearted or have the same air of adventure that some of our previous trips possessed. I am not a mind reader, but it seemed to me that we all mentally prepared ourselves in some way beforehand. Even though I personally tried my best to avoid slipping back into my "ignorance is bliss", "pretend none of this exists" mentality, I could not help myself from adopting that attitude as a "coping" mechanism. As a result, I spent a large portion of the trip in a weird cross of trying to absorb valuable information while not allowing it to seep in farther than the surface. I let the words sit upon my skin in an attempt to later quietly remove the experience and store it in a locked drawer, like a winter coat on spring's first warm day. However, upon removal, a residue of feelings still remained, unable to be shed, unable to be forgotten.

When we arrived at Terezín, I was surprised that it looked like a regular town. I was expecting to see a mock-camp like Vojna, but instead I saw a town square, buildings, grass, and the regular makings of a town.  We then moved on to a museum that documented the history of Terezín. I learned that when Jewish people were told they were being moved there, they assumed it was like a new settlement for them where at least they would all be together and could live without the strict discrimination laws that were in place in various European cities. Therefore, the first "deportation" group to go to Terezín consisted of craftsmen who could begin building up the city for the future settlers. With this mentality of building a new town, the settlers of Terezín made the concentration camp into a model camp that was used in German propaganda to advertise how "grand" and "functional" concentration camps were. However, the conditions were far from lovely: crowded three-bed bunks, not enough food, disease, and high death rates. That being said, the inhabitants began to realize that those deported to other camps from Terezín were guaranteed a death sentence, so they did their best to remain in Terezín and send the sick and the old off to other camps, therefore providing more time and hope for a better future for the children and the young and healthy. I found this whole idea to be extremely fascinating. They lived by the concept of what is best for the greater good, even though it sometimes meant separating families and making sacrifices.

We later visited a museum where the artwork, literature, and music from the camp was on display. And once again, emotion hit me like a brick when I saw how absolutely beautiful and intricate all of the sketches and pictures were. Here I was admiring the quality of a picture while the artists drew their harsh reality of losing loved ones, of living in the same barrack as death, of not knowing one's future. Later, as I moved on to examining the literature and music, I discovered "magazines" that the children put together and heard chipper songs about ice cream. It seemed like such a juxtaposition that it was bone-chilling and haunting. These poor children did the only thing they could to be able to deal with these concentration camps, and that was entertain themselves with riddles, puzzles, and happy songs. But how could one be happy in such a place, in such a state, with such a fate facing them? Perhaps it was their only choice besides sinking into a state of gloomy depression. Perhaps, just like me, they chose the "ignorance is bliss" approach to escape, even for just a moment and only in their minds, the reality of the situation.

Quotes that didn't make the cut

These are quotes that didn't quite make the cut to be title headings yet still deserve to be mentioned:

-"Sausages" -CHPetr

-“Look at that dumpling on a bike” –Caroline

-"All the Pani’s on the floor"-Caroline and Beth

-"I’ll be your prep bitch" – Allison

-"Those are the locks of a god" – Beth

-"Caroline, let's go dance by that man" -Hillary

-"It is worth a shit"-Salt and Petr

-"Don't touch me" -some sign on some famous place

-"Tesco-Where the Czechs go"

-"Hugs, not Zmrz" -Emily

-"I don't think classy is the theme of this trip"

-After I commented that I had a single room in the hotel: "You can invite someone to spend the night. You have a bottle of wine" -Film Teacher

-"I had to entice him with candy, not my good looks" -Caroline

-"That's what you get for serving us small fish" -Ajay

-"My shit feels like it is about to pass out" -Caroline

-"It doesn't count unless you lick it" -Kia

-"You only look like you got slightly mauled by a weasel" –Scott

Franz Kafka: a Cliché Hipster or Motorcycle Bad-ass?

July 9

Warning: I am about to make a statement that will probably offend some people, induce condescending glares, and perhaps make Kafka roll over in his grave: If Kafka were alive today, he would probably be called a hipster. 

Today's history lesson was all about Kafka, and breaking the stereotypical image of the quiet, ugly, sickly loner. In reality, apparently he was a(n attractive) ladies man. He was engaged 4 times to 3 different women (can you say commitment issues), had an affair with Milena Jesenská (oh Franz, you home-wrecker, you), and fathered an illegitimate child with a friend of one of his fiances (dang-it Kafka, keep it in your pants please). He also participated in a number of sports before becoming sick, was a vegetarian, drank a lot of beer, and liked to ride his uncle's motorbike around town. So was he a sickly, ugly loner? Apparently not. Did he have some issues that needed to be worked out? All signs point to yes.

If Kafka was alive today, I can see him in a little known coffee-house/pub that serves obscure "organic" beverages with vegan tofu gooseberry muffins, listening to bands that only 20 other people will ever hear of, and working that "struggling artist" charm that makes women fall at his feet. 

And of course, the last 5 minutes of class, as we are processing all the new information that we learned, I overhear some pretensious Russian tour-guide explain that the Kafka statue represents how he "overcame all of  his many struggles, including his anti-social ways". And all I wanted to do was turn around and stare at her with a look that my father likes to call "как Ленин на буржуазию". 

Cave Rave: Part Two

July 8th

Today, we went to the Macocha caves to explore the stalagmites and stalactites. And apparently everything was supposed to resemble an object, such as "a little black man" who brings you luck if you rub him/it (I kid you not), or a bunny, or about 20 different crystal waterfalls. I perhaps saw 20% of the supposed resemblances. Not to mention that the temperature in the caves was a minimum 20 degrees C below the temperature outside. In other words, I was an icicle by the time I left. However, I still enjoyed the cave tour especially the abyss, which was absolutely breathtaking.

The fog in the abyss made it difficult to capture the beauty of it in a photograph

After the caves, we went to Brno to visit the Villa Tugendhat. I have to admit, the villa was a bit underwhelming. It was built up to be this miraculous wonder, which I am sure that it was in the 30's when it was built. At that time, it was probably something new and exciting, yet today, there are multiple other buildings built in this style, so it didn't come across as something new. Would I like to live in such a house? Sure, for a month or two. Did the house feel like a home? No, it felt cold and distant. Did I fall in love with the dining room table and onyx wall? Of course. Did the tiled floors remind me of a hospital therefore gave me a feeling of being in psych-ward? Unfortunately, yes. Was it an interesting house? Yes. 

"It tastes kind of cork-ey"

July 7

This weekend was our trip to Southern Moravia, more specifically the towns of Telč, Mikulov, and Brno. Our first stop was the Castle in Telč, where we had a tour as well as an opportunity to explore the city. On the tour of the Castle, I was surprised/perplexed by two thing: 1)how in heavens name the owner of the castle, Zachariáš, managed to get all of his hunted African animals back home to be skinned and mounted on his walls and 2) how absolutely heinous (shout-out to Caroline) looking the people in all of the portraits are-one couple was even regarded as the ugliest people in Moravia, and maybe even perhaps all of Europe. Really, could they not choose at least slightly more attractive looking people to be in positions of power and constantly in the limelight? After the tour, it was lunch/explore city time. Lunch was as heinous as the portraits; seeing as all I wanted was a bowl of vegetable soup or broth, and what I got was a bowl of smoked sausage tasting oil. And to add insult to injury, on our way back to the bus, 3 members of our party got left behind and literally ran through the procession of wedding in order to catch up. Granted, that was slightly amusing for the rest of us and probably less than stellar for them.

Now on to the Pálava Hills, to the Sonberk Winery, for authentic Moravian wine. We first had a tour of the winery, and the surrounding vines. I was pleasantly surprised at how chic and modern looking the winery was. It was something I could have expected from a pretentious, avant-garde Napa Valley place. That being said, the wine was the last thing from pretentious. The people are super passionate about their wine and of course believe it to be the best, but luckily it lived up to their praise. I thoroughly enjoyed my selection of white (Pinot Gris, Riesling, and Pálava-a sweet local variety), but was not a massive fan of the red Merlot. Granted, I am not nor have ever been a red wine enthusiast.

And 4 glasses of wine and 2 plates of cheese later (shout out to Kia), I, as well as everyone else, was starting to feel a bit tipsy. Was 4 glasses of wine and 2 plates of cheese a good idea in the long run while being sick? No. Was it a lovely idea at the time? You betcha!

And then we find out that our bus has broken down. Therefore, as we were waiting for our rides to Mikulov, the town we would be spending the night in, we all proceeded to take an obnoxious number of pictures with and without the vineyard serving as the background.

 Once arriving in Mikulov, we went on a mini-tour of the city center and then checked out a panoramic view from which we saw the border of Austria and the Czech Republic. And by border, I mean the invisible line where a house stops and grass begins. Perhaps we should have gone frolicking in Austria while singing "The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music".

That part where the houses end and the fields begin is Austria

Paddle boating to the Lennon Wall

Back tracking a little bit. The first weekend we were in Prague, a group of us went paddle boating out on the river as well as going to check out the Lennon Wall. Paddle boating was AMAZING! Being out on the water, having the sun shinning without being ridiculously hot and humid, people watching and just relaxing and seeing the sights of Prague was one of my favorite moments of the trip so far. 

A few days earlier, we had also visited the Lennon Wall. The Lennon Wall was once a regular wall, but in the 1980's, it began to become painted with Beatles inspired graffiti and is still painted present-day. And near the Lennon Wall, there are Love Locks, which are pretty much locks that couples write their initials/names on and put on a gate over a canal, and then throw the key into the canal to signify their everlasting love. Adorable, right? Yes, except for the fact that there have been people who fall out of love and then come back in an attempt to get the keys back...oops!

Representing California!

If we ever start a band, this will be our album cover