Up in the Air

This trip has left me realizing way more about myself than I could have ever imagined. The atmosphere among my fellow classmates was the same as it was at NU: one of me being both part of the group and an outsider at the same time. I had always had that feeling, all through my life I was "different", but for some reason, I have never felt so different and so out of place as I have at Northwestern and on this trip. (That said, just to clarify, I am by no means implying that I am unhappy, helpless, and miserable. I am still part of a group, still a part of society, not a complete and absolute loner).


And so I decided to take a moment, reflect, and figure out why this was. I realized it once again had to do with me being Russian, or at least with how I approach this integral part of me. Many others wear their nationalities as a bracelet, a sock, a glove. Something that defines them in words, not in spirit. How many times have I heard someone say "I'm Irish, German, Hungarian, and Italian. But my great-grandparents and every generation since were born and lived in the US". Their multi-ethnic culture extends only as far as perhaps a traditional meatball recipe at Christmas or a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" T-shirt at St.Patrick's Day. When asked their nationality, they say "American". Their childhood consisted of jello at picnics, baseball games, and Superbowl parties.

My childhood on the other hand consisted of going to Russian school on Saturdays instead of staying in my pajamas watching cartoons,  picking out the chicken hearts in my mother’s homemade soup, celebrating holidays that, among other things, involved eating pancakes for a whole week, and lots and lots of  borscht. When someone asks my nationality, I say "Russian" because for me, saying "American" feels like a betrayal. I realized that I consciously try to come off as and be as Russian as I can. The fact that my Russian reading skills aren't as strong as my brother's and that I can feel my speaking "skills" are slowly getting worse terrifies me and perhaps even makes me ashamed and embarrassed. Therefore, I realized, I try and overcompensate and make myself appear and "be" as "Russian" as I can. And this is what causes my "outsider" status. My attempt to hold on to this idea of who and what I need to be separates me from people that I still try to fit in with, to coexist, to live with.

So I guess the main question that this leads me to is whether to live with this realization or to do something about this and somehow change. The decision is, like most things in life, still up in the air. 

Holier-than-Thou

I have been known to be a little "holier-than-thou" with my Russian-ness. Seeing as I live in the US, that is the side of me that most often gets "attacked", mocked, picked on, bashed, made fun of, etc. Therefore, I have developed a defense mechanism for times like these. However, I rarely, if ever, assume the "holier-than-thou" mentality when speaking about the US. I personally hate the stereotype that Americans have a mentality of being better than everyone else, yet believe that this stereotype also rings true. I am a firm believer that all stereotypes have a morsel of truth in them. Therefore, I try my best to disprove this stereotype in my actions (whether or not I succeed is another question). However, being abroad has made me feel like I play into that stereotype due to the use of English as the second language spoken in the various countries. It makes me feel like I am practically saying to others "I'm not making an effort to learn and speak your language, and you must cater to me and speak my language". And I hate that feeling. I think that was one of my biggest difficulties abroad: the language differences and my resistance to speak English due to the feelings of guilt and impression that I was being pompous and rude when I did. That said, for some reason, I had less of an issue with this in Vienna and Budapest. Perhaps it was the fact that I was studying Czech or that I lived in Prague that made me feel so much worse about speaking English. Maybe all I needed was a whirl-wind of a Eurotrip to alleviate a bit of the language barrier. Unfortunately, it failed to alleviate my guilt.

You are allowed one wrapped sapling tree

Vienna. 3 hours later: Budapest.

Highlights include:

-New Restaurant Idea: In a Potato

-Hummus Bar for lunch - yum!

-going to the baths- a little anti-climactic. Felt more like a tepid public pool

-cool tour of city

-Langos for lunch - the most delicious thing ever. Pretty much a piece of fried dough, topped with garlic, sour cream, and cheese. To die for!

Pictures include:

The baths

Crisp apple strudels and schnitzel with noodles

July  20

3am. Nearly empty bus station. 5 hour bus ride ahead of us. Vienna, here we come. 


Highlights of Vienna include:

• eating food truck schnitzel (not-so highlight was only having 1 minute to eat what I could and then having to throw out the rest)
• seeing the Schönbrunn Palace
• dinner of food truck food, which included a pastry that I blindly chose even though I had no idea what it was as well as a giant sausage with mustard shoved into a baguette. All of it was delicious!
• coffee with cheese strudel at a local quaint cafe
• staying at a hostel with a bar and a non-lumpy mattress
• ripping my jeans (I feel that everyone must reach certain embarrassing milestones. Splitting your pants in public is one of those milestones. Check)
• breakfast of farmer's market cherry strudel : yum!

Pictures of Vienna include:

Casually chilling in the Schönbrunn garden

Schönbrunn Palace

Being a local means getting tuna on one's pizza

July 16

All those Czech classes must be paying off (or most likely just my Slavic appearance), because people are starting to think that I am a local. They talk to me (or more like at me) in Czech, even after I have a brief conversation with them in English. And only after a minute of me staring at them like a lost, confused tourist, they resort to speaking English. Of course, I am flattered. I guess my "Dobrý den", "Prosím", and "Děkuju" sound proper. On the other hand, if being a local means ending up with tuna on my pizza, I graciously decline. (Seriously, who in heaven's name thought tuna was a good idea on a pizza?) That said, it is a good feeling to feel more assimilated. Constantly feeling like an outsider has started taking a toll on me, so small moments like that where people mistake me for a local are refreshing and much appreciated.

Would you like some muži with your ženy?

So since a lot of my blog posts have been text based, with limited number of pictures of Czech buildings and nature, I thought that I would do a post of pictures of people and some buildings. So enjoy!

Casually chilling on the Charles Bridge

Lennon Wall

Paddle Boating

Paddle Boating

 

Cave Rave

Cave Rave

Part of the Berlin Wall

I hang out on top of churches in my spare time

St. Vitus' Cathedral

Hey there zlatíčko, guess what I'm #3 in...

As I was trying to look up how to say "men" in Czech, I happened to stumble upon a website with a title of "10 Reasons to Give Czech Men a Chance". They say that curiosity killed the cat. in this case, my curiosity led me to one of the most ridiculous and funniest articles I have read in a long time. 10-reasons-to-give-czech-men-a-chance . And now, in typical Lena fashion, I will proceed to share with you the thoughts that came to mind while perusing this fine piece of literature.

Intro Photo: I should give them a chance because they drive dusty mini-buses?

Picture 2: Obviously it is the goat that makes these men desirable. Or the fact that that man looks like a goat. Either way, not convinced to give Czech men a chance just yet.

Reason 10-Czech men will always tell you how you look: As much as I love and appreciate honesty, and ladies, correct me if I'm wrong, I also appreciate a man who can tell a little-white lie in the "honey, how do I look" answer department instead of telling me the flat out truth. Now men, don't get me wrong, I want you to be informed if I look like a demented circus clown, but no need to tell me about this "muffin top" that the article so kindly mentions. So be a good boy and follow your mother's rule of "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" or at least sit by Clairee Belcher (classic Steel Magnolias reference)

Reason 9-Czech men don´t over analyze: Not over analyzing seems like a good thing. Unless they don't think at all...

Reason 8-Czech men are not afraid of P.D.A: We know. We're seen you sucking face in broad daylight in a park. Not always a fan.

Reason 7- Czech men don´t play games: This seems like a refreshing change. I can dig this. Then again, I think all women (me included) read too much into everything to begin with and perhaps all guys are actually that simple.

Picture 4: Not exactly what I would call extremely attractive men. Then again everyone has their own tastes. Still not convinced.

Reason 6-Czech men rank among the EU´s most well endowed: Only thing I can think is "who in heaven's name does this research and how did this study even get conducted"

Reason 5- Czech men don´t wear baseball caps: Nothing wrong with a baseball cap once in a while. Although this reason could be something I could get behind.

Reason 4- Czech men will shower you with pet names: Although I have no desire to be called "zlato","zlatka",or "zlatíčko", I am a fan of pet names. Point for the Czech men's team.

Picture 5: What is that man sitting in in the middle of the street?

Reason 3- Czech men are thrifty—and that´s a good thing: In other words, they are cheap.

Reason 2- Czech men won´t think less of you after casual sex: Hmm, a man who doesn't complain about casual sex. Such a novelty.

Reason 1: Czech men aren´t afraid of commitment: They also aren't afraid of divorce.